The Name of Red by Beena Khan

Author:Beena Khan [Khan, Beena]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-05-14T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter 25

Elif didn't come to the bar the next day.

There were multiple missed calls from Kabir, but she hadn't answered her phone. It was mean, but she didn’t want to speak with anyone at the moment. It had felt good to speak to someone about the accident after a long time of silence though.

She found her voice, only to lose it again.

She was sitting in the bedroom and saw a box peeking out from her cupboard. She hesitantly raised herself up from the bed, lifting her weight from it. The mattress squeaked as she moved. She walked in small, slow movements toward her cupboard, her legs almost giving out below her.

With a deep breath, she opened it.

The box fell out crashing to the floor.

Pictures of Isaah and her were scattered. She sucked in a breath and slowly, dropped to the cold floor gazing at the pictures. The tiled floor felt cool against her bare legs. She shivered at the touch. She stared at the pictures of their college days and their wedding.

Our wedding.

She remembered their time together.

She smiled bitterly. I was a widow at the age of twenty-seven.

Elif put the pictures back in their place and prepared herself for work. She put on straight black pants and a white shirt underneath and layered it with a black blazer. She made herself breakfast and silently ate at the table. After she finished, she fetched her designs for the underwater aquarium which were due today.

She came back to the kitchen but suddenly glanced up. Across from her sat a wine bottle on the table.

I shouldn’t drink right now, I have to go to work.

Then, she began to second guess herself. She placed her designs on the table and began to reach for the bottle before darting her hand back at the table. She placed her hands firmly against the table so she wouldn’t do anything drastic.

She stared in awe at the bottle. The wine in the bottle seemed cool and refreshing.

I’ll just take one sip, she debated with herself.

No, no, no, you got a warning from work last time, her inner voice argued. But it was too late. Elif grabbed the bottle and unhooked the cap. Then, she took a big gulp before she could change her mind. The smell of alcohol penetrated her nostrils, and she shook her head in delight.

One big gulp turned to two, then three, then four.

I should stop.

She felt as if she had no control over her hand. Her hand wouldn’t stop holding the bottle, and her throat wouldn’t stop drinking. She craved booze, more than anything right now. There were other ways to clear the brain and cope with bad memories, but alcohol was her choice.

She finished the wine.

Elif hiccupped. She felt relaxed and better than before, but she still craved. She moved from her seat as she went to the refrigerator. She bent down and peered inside, the cool air hitting her heated face, fanning it. She saw two more wine bottles.

She smiled and reached for the wine bottle nearest her to meet her needs and cravings.

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